Coming Out as an Indigo Child

It’s 5 in the morning and I just ordered Japanese food delivery. That’s one of the perks of living in a shithole city. You may not have parking but at least you’re not stuck in the suburbs eating frozen Costco.

I’m going to fess up that I’m an Indigo. I’m what you call the “Beta generation.” We set the precedent to usher in gentler souls of the next generation on this journey. The official title is Indigo Child.

Although I’m Indigo, I am not a New Ager.

My life has been a string of “coming out” stories. But my choices to be in the closet had more to do with survival than it was about self-acceptance.

I grew up in a part of America that was extremely racist. If I could have been the closet as a Asian in order to avoid getting bullied, I would. But it was virtually impossible to hide.

Since my childhood, I had no concept of gay or straight. Whereas people were all equal and #loveislove was true for me, it was rejected by the rest of the world. I had to “come out” for being gay in a fundamentalist society even though as an Indigo, my beliefs transcended binary points of views.

I came out as a poet in my early 20s. It was for my spiritual good that I did. No one around me valued poetry so I never called myself one because I didn’t like being looked down on.

I also had shamanic gifts of visions. Although I chose not to follow that path, shamanism has been deeply embedded in my spiritual life since my late teens. In every way, my makeup spelled being different, when really, I was just an Indigo…

I would be lying if I denied being one.

You can look up the Indigo profile and see that I fit the attributes almost to a T.

Vice Magazine did a tongue-in-cheek doc on the Indigo topic: Inside the Strange, Psychic World of Indigo Children.

Gavin Haynes, the journalist, treated the doc in a sarcastic way that doesn’t do the Indigos much justice. This is because the New Agers were worthy of making fun of;)

However, he did make the theory much more accessible.

The main goal of that doc I believe is to bring greater awareness to getting spiritually aware children off anti-psychotic drugs that only repress their true potential.

Haynes called the Indigo movement a “religion.”

The New Age movement is a religion. Being Indigo is not.

It’s a typology.

Being an Indigo isn’t anymore of a religion than being an introvert or extrovert is part of a religion.

When you hear people say, “I’m spiritual, not religious” to separate their beliefs from the dogmatic kind, that’s an Indigo POV. Indigos disregard anything that asserts authority over our freedom or individuality.

We distrust and hate authority because we don’t believe they are any smarter just because they have control and power. We are basically shit stirrers, bullshit detectors, and playing field levelers because of we don’t like being talked down or lied to.

One of the key traits of Indigos happens be being naturally suicidal as teens. But there’s more to this that often goes unexplained.

It has to do with having heightened awareness.

Highly spiritually aware people often have a hard time living in a fucked up world because they can see through the veil of society and are super sensitive to it.

We can see through the veil of fake people, the lies people try to teach us, and we don’t take shit from the authority figures who feed us bullshit and expect us to simply follow and nod. And we become filled with rage because of this.

We are inherently warrior spirits. And we will fight. And if we don’t have guidance or a creative outlet to express ourselves, the flood of our awareness goes inward — and we end up being self-destructive. That’s where the suicide part comes from. It’s not because we’re “Emos.”

Many Indigos came in huge waves during the 80s punk movement and brought change through creative dissonance that shaped societal trends to date. All things “alternative” were born from our generation, which have now become absorbed into the mainstream.

Really odd. Never in my life would I imagine clueless hipsters wearing Joy Division Tshirts. If they only knew that persecution once came along with choosing to listen to anything other than Bon Jovi.

We broke down systems of rigidity and narrow-minded thinking that were too small for our vision. Our world is much bigger than the cages provided for us: this includes our parenting, our tradition and culture, our education system and the jobs that were not available to support our creativity in the workforce.

We had no future, literally. We had to invent our own and still do…

Our rebellion helped pave the way for the next wave of Indigos, who are called “Chrystal Children.”

The Chrystals are much lighter souls and are not fighters but peacemakers. They don’t have the destructive tendencies that the former Indigos do, yet are equally super-sensitive. Because of the groundwork the Indigos have done, this prepared  the next generation of digital children to smash the brick-and-mortar empires with the internet and social media, and enabled themselves to create freely than ever beyond the rules of industry. They became entrepreneurs before graduating from college and reshaped society through technological mediums. They did all this without ever having to suffer from filling out fake resumes or wearing a clown suit.

The Indigo generations have been catalyst for a lot of positive change.

We have more individuality and acceptance of race and culture today than we ever have. So much that many of us can’t possibly imagine a time where people hated Asians or avoided Chinese food because they were ignorant enough to think it had dog meat. Absurd as it sounds today, this was the dark ages and happened NOT that long ago. So a lot has changed.

Children born in the western world today would be less likely to experience open persecution for being gay or lesbian or what it means to not have a normal teenage life; the pain of avoiding the prom, living in the closet, or worried about getting fired from job or not hired because you’re homosexual. And to think, we now have children who can openly admit they are transgender and ask for gender reassignment.

If you were on a homeopathic or holistic diet, your friends and doctors treated at you like you were a member of a cult. Brown rice was even demonized and no one would eat it (except hippies) let alone know what it was to served it. When I first told my mother I couldn’t eat sugar and that included white rice because it broke into glucose, she was angry and offended, as if I told her I disowned being Vietnamese. But it wasn’t only her–it was impossible to have a diet with higher conscious awareness of how food impacts your health.

We are way beyond that now, to where you can go to culinary arts school to study plant-based cooking and get a degree…or fight for parking at Whole Foods, now a multi-billion dollar health food chain recently purchased by Amazon…

Before blogging, people didn’t even know what journaling was. If you said you were writing about your life–they looked at you and sneered Who do you think you are? Only famous people write autobiographies.  No one took selfies–but I did. I did it with standard 35mm cameras without a viewfinder and people on the street would stare and look confused.

If you are spiritual in any way, you had to make excuses for why you’re not part of a religion–and if you’re psychic or have shamanic visions–forget about it. And now, you have entire industries of healing practitioners in all forms doing remote healing and business on the internet.

Many may view this world as a shithole but it will never stop being one. It’s called humanity.

We have more freedom than ever which gives us greater liberty to bitch. If you want perspective, travel to parts of the world today where it’s illegal to even have tinted car windows.

Those who’ve fought for our rights will drag you into politics and world crisis and make you feel like you’re not proactive or don’t care about the world: this is the old paradigm. I’ve fought with this all my life because I don’t share that attitude. This world is filled with people jealous of contentment and enjoys drama and conflict, while unable to see that the battle ended a long time ago–and the sun is shining over the rainbow.

The changes that we have today are impressive. This matters more than things that can’t be changed. We are in a Golden Age yet many still have not woken up to appreciate it.

I’ve seen the changes that happened from the time I was a teen and belonged nowhere because there was no internet and no opportunities. All we had was fucking telemarketing jobs and working at McDonalds. Two death sentences to choose from. It didn’t matter how talented or smart you were–rules were rules.

I am content with this ugly world because I have perspective. Life is beautiful. It’s our choice to resonate with beauty.

Indigo has nothing to do with weird.

If you Google the Indigo topic, you’re going to find some weird stuff. Your best option is to look at Nancy Ann Tappe’s stuff and avoid wiki (which is even more anti-New Age than I am). It just sucks that Tappe’s stuff got buried in that crap.

Tappe is a synesthete (a person who sees and tastes colors) and studied auras. She noticed that a lot of people with Indigos auras were being born into the world and began analyzing them.

For everything else, there is New Age jargon.

I have issues with this because that ruins it for the rest of us. There are millions of Indigos on this planet with nothing to ground us.

I don’t know who the fuck Kryon is and I don’t care.

Apparently, some dude called Kryon is calling out to us. That shit is nothing more than than New Agers using the Indigo phenomenon as clickbaits for cultish recruitment. They should know better to mess with Indigos because it should be expected that we don’t tolerate this. The savvy use of SEO tactics to take credit for Tappe’s work is offensive to me.

Being an Indigo doesn’t mean aligning yourself with mediums and channelers of so-called messengers. It’s not a fucking religion any more than Carl Jung’s Typology could be considered as one.

With the Indigo Children, on one hand, you have the science community debunking it to keep the pharmaceutical industry in business and at the other extreme, the New Age movement bolstering its mystique to point of creating antisocial, elitist behavior.

There are a lot of closeted Indigos and rightly so. The wacky New Age association with the Indigo typology brings up a lot of shame and makes us want to stay in the closet because not everybody wants to be associated with that movement or a religion.

I remember picking up a few Indigo books written by New Agers and you know what that did to me? It made me narcissistic for days.

I was left with this heavy taste of feeling completely different and special.

I felt more alienated from society knowing I was an Indigo than before when I thought I was just a freak.

After reading those books I just wanted to be normal.

I couldn’t have said it better than Haynes when he summarized the Indigo problem in his documentary as follows:

“We’re all told we’re special. It’s just that when people are told that they’re more special than others that the awkwardness starts to creep in.”

Indigos are special only in the way a person is gifted at a particular thing. This is true for anyone special at anything. And once you find your bliss, you can excel and move forward.

The only way to move forward is to embrace it because it’s our spiritual spine and essence.

But not all the traits of Indigos are positive. The Indigo problem in connection to pharmaceutical drugs have led to homicidal behavior and the epidemic of high school shootings. Society has no spiritually understanding of how not all people are equipped to handle drugs. When a child is born with psychic potential, drugs only disrupt their mental process and can make them go crazy. Combine that with a hatred for authority and you end up with a disaster. But don’t blame the Indigos for that–blame society for forced-fed religion and denied sexual and self-expression, for promoting guns and violence over providing a platform for kids who develop and think differently, for not helping them excel through finding ways to express and convert rage creatively…because all the rage is: is blocked potential and can contain massive leadership skills.

The Indigo concept have come out in the mainstream, which is a big shift. Chances are, if fans are following an Indigo, those youths are also Indigos…

There’s a rap group, The Underachievers, who identify as Indigos–and they definitely are; for better or worse. Thought Catalog put out a pithy article: 17 Signs You’re What’s Known As An ‘Indigo Child’ and Gavin Hayne’s mini-doc also brings twisted enlightenment and reality check to the topic.

Willow Smith is one of the few major artists who publicly admits to being awakened to the Indigo way. From what I can tell, she’s actually a Chrystal or Rainbow kid. Her method is too beautiful to be like a jaded Indigo. But she has that edge, you know, that streak of Indigo, warrior energy.

Some Chrystal children heavily identify as Indigos. But I can tell they are Chrystals because they don’t have that destructive, tearing down of authority streak. The rebellious quality of Indigos can be highly attractive because they’re charged with passion and rage. But the Indigos needed that to walk the minefields…

I do think that Chrystal need to be more comfortable in their own skin. They can easily accept the world–even if they don’t accept themselves. Indigos do neither. They’ve taken a lot of beating and have lived lives with deep shame.

I would suggest that the Chrystals become more aligned with their gentler kinder way of doing things rather than emulate the destructive tendencies of their predecessors. Those tendencies were necessary to bomb the old to allow for the new…

Let the Indigos take the blame, they will be happy to.


Further reading:

Nancy Ann Tappe

Thought Catalog: 17 Signs You’re What’s Known As An ‘Indigo Child’

Gavin Hayne’s documentary: Inside the Strange, Psychic World of Indigo Children

Willow Smith: Jaden and Willow Smith on Prana Energy, Time and Why School Is Overrated

Rainbow Children…probably: Sex-Change Treatment for Kids on the Rise

Ji Strangeway is a filmmaker, writer, and poet specializing in female-centric LGBTQ. She is also a fierce blogger aiming for a new level of indigoness and bad assery. Find out more: | Follow FB: jistrangeway.official  #jistrangeway

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Ji Strangeway

Ji Strangeway

Executant of the Ineffable

The Three Gates of Speech stipulates that you ask these questions before putting your foot in your mouth: Is it True? Is it Necessary? Is it Kind? Since this doesn't fit the purpose for every occassion, the criteria for my path is: Is it True? Is it Necessary? Is it Indigo?

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