I’ve been reflecting a great deal on my youth, on youth and what it means to me. I am discovering both the treasure and the tragedy in it.
I see where I’ve wasted it and areas where I was at my finest; things that I achieved that feels like I could never repeat again—because they were just so damn bold, brilliant and full of life; in the moment and 100% fearlessness…
Because of beautiful ignorance.
I think about the jealousy and hatred adults had toward me and their jealousy toward the youth in general—and how so many adults tried to steal the life-power, energy and soul of youth—because these adults never lived their lives with self-love or contentment.
I think back and can count numerous times where people tried to rob the essence of youth from me. Although no one can literally “take” it, they stole a lot of my energy—so that I would fail or falter…and put me in a depressed state. I was highly aware of how disrespectful and condescending they are towards kids—as if they never even remembered being one.
Now that I’m older, I can see how badly the adult world had treated me but I can also see how they marveled at my youth, which helps me appreciate it even more.
Youth is a one-time deal and should be cherished. Not glorified, but cherished—appreciated and accepted while you’re young—to love and be who you are 100% and not give a fuck about anything else.
I sure didn’t.
Yet, I didn’t get to that place of not giving a fuck until I left high school. I wasted my high school years trying to survive in an environment filled with hatred and violence. I was hidden.
I recognize that all life is a one-time deal, not just youth.
Being a baby is a one-time deal. Turning 21 is a one-time deal. Our twenties, thirties, forties, fifties, sixties and so on are all one-time deals.
I am beginning to understand that all life is poetry. All life is awakened…because of this one-time deal.
To a musician, all life is music.
To a painter, all life is art.
To a filmmaker, all life is a movie.
To a writer, all life is story.
To me, all life is poetry. All life is awakened.
I write all the time because I don’t know what to do with the awakenness of what I see, remember, and experience. Everything is so vivid—like a Van Gogh vision that can’t find ways to realize it on canvas or with paint.
I do the best I can, and it is never enough…and poetry tries to touch the source of where that vividness comes from—and never is it vibrant enough—because it’s just so huge. This must be some kinda G*d Realized state.
These days, I am protecting my eyes.
I protect my eyes the way I would protect my own child’s eyes from toxic information.
It’s said that when the Buddha was a child, his parents protected his eyes from the suffering of the world—but he needed to see it for himself. And that is how he learned compassion.
But I protect my eyes for other reasons.
I don’t watch news. I don’t keep up with industry. I don’t ingest information that isn’t useful to my creativity.
By contrast, society is always pushing against me.
Society wants to say you have to be informed. By being informed you’re suppose be “educated” and “learned” when in fact it just makes you jaded and wears out your originality, your sense of true authenticity. It is a slow process of taking the artist focus outward, rather than inward. In this sense, Society strives to crush your creativity—just like those adults that are jealous of a kid’s freedom and connection with their inner wonder.
Society is for the norm, not for the individual. Artists of that tribe are opportunists, materialistic, conformists, and lack individuality. They are the ones that say if you’re an artist, all works of art are based on stealing and that nothing is original. Well, no one has taught them about integrity, ethics or manners. They are uneducated and lack discipline in self-awareness.
It is important to believe in Newness and that everything is born out of Originality. All creation is born out of this flow of new waters—new ideas. It may all look the same but each has their authentic signature because they are virgin and “first-time” in becoming what they are.
To subscribe to the raison d’etre that all things have already been created is a defeatist perspective that shapes a crooked mind. When the mind is crooked, the person becomes crooked, so says things like “nothing is original, everything has been done before,” then encourages the path to greatness by stealing or copying.
All that reflects is an artist who has given up on originality, so all that’s left to do is to become a scavenger of other people’s ideas and to steal. It is greed and lust for power to look great. It doesn’t matter how powerful, rich, or famous these people have become in aligning themselves with that belief. For they have ultimately become a successful lie.
An artist who copies or steals is not an artist but is a copy-artist and con-artist. Didn’t their parents teach them not to steal?
A true artist creates from their own light because that’s part of an artist’s job: to give new light to the world.