I’ve been writing since noon on Saturday. It is Sunday at 7:00 a.m. I couldn’t stop. I was rewriting love.
June traces Beverly’s lips to calm all confusion. The way they quiver, how they war against yes and no, and the way Beverly can’t help but kiss June’s fingers in return, arouses June. Her fingertips can taste the salt of her tears. She could feel the ocean in Beverly’s body fill to capacity with thirst for love—equally unquenched. Her fingers slip into Beverly mouth and she wraps her tongue around them, lovingly swallowing them in even strokes as tears mollify her cheeks. June presses her lips closely in envy of those lucky fingers, breathing into them until she steals Beverly’s mouth with her tongue. They dip into each other, slowly, gently. Drunkenly.
– Excerpt/ Draft #3, RED AS BLUE
I also spent hours rewriting a sex scene and wrote my editor a note:
“If you run out of cold water, then something major has been accomplished.”
Being a typical romantic, after writing this fairly tamed sequence, I found the excerpt above to be much hotter than graphic details about how girls do it…and love to do it (with each other). But then again, if this too hot, then the rest will require a welder’s mask.